Spitty Spit, Sitting Up and The Art of Ignoring

I have discovered spitting, along with that wonderful fart-like noise that you get when you stick out your tongue and just spit away for a few seconds. I know that I'm a girl, so eventually having proper etiquette will prevent me from becoming the national spitball champion. As a result, I am going to get all the spitting in that I can right now. I especially like spitting while I'm being fed. I am capable of spitting with such force that whoever is feeding me will get a face-full of mush (and a shirt-full, pants full, and hair full as well). My mommie is now mastering the fine art of feeding me. She has to test first with just a little bit on the spoon before actually giving me the "full" spoon very quickly. This way, if I'm in a spitting mood, the chances of a big glob landing on her nose are reduced to a light sprinkle. Yeah...I know...I'm a brat.

I have mastered the art of sitting up. No more leaning over and falling for this girl. I can sit with the best of you, lean over to pick something up, and then get right back up in a proper sitting position. I'd been practicing for the last few weeks, but only in the last few days have I entirely conquered the "sitting up from a laying-down position" move. What can I say? I rule.

I am destined to be an ice princess...no really, I am. Unless you make a sudden noise or are wearing an interesting hat, if you are holding me - I'm not looking at you even once. I pay attention only to those who are NOT holding me. So, as an example, if Daddy is holding me, I will ignore him and will intently stare at my Mommie...until she is convinced that I want to shift to her lap. Once the transfer is complete, I will ignore her entirely and stare only at my Daddy until another shift occurs. I haven't quite mastered the second step though, as once Daddy hands me off to Mommie, he doesn't stick around very long.

I have also learned the value of "things". If I'm holding something, you best not even attempt to take it from me, lest I start using my mad ninja skills to teach you a lesson. Today I was sitting on the floor between my Dad's legs. I was happily playing with his right and left shoelaces (Don't ask me which was which...I haven't a clue yet which way is right and left), and then he had the nerve to actually get up off the couch and attempt to walk away! Oh no...don't "dis" me like that Daddy-O! I claimed those shoelaces and they are MINE. How did I claim them? In the only way I know how. I threw up on them. I know what you're thinking....Mad Skills!