New Food, Daddy's Shirt & Doctor Visits
...Or, as an alternative title - Things I Like, Things I Like to Throw Up On, and Things I Hate With a Burning Hellfire....
Mommy & Daddy brought me to the doctor today for a check-up. I weighed 16.4 lbs, I was 26 inches long, and I evidently have the most beautiful eyes the nurse has ever seen. Yay for me! The doctor, who tried to fool me by being nice at first, said I should eat more solid food so that I don't go through 7 bottles of formula a day and pee every ten minutes. I second that decision. Frankly, the less that Mommy & Daddy have to dig in my pants, the happier I'll be....plus I'm looking forward to other flavors besides "Soy Milk-Flavored"....Well, back to the visit. All was going well, and I made it a point to not even complain when the doctor pushed on my hips, and looked in my nose, and did everything under the sun to annoy me. I was a perfect little giggling Princess. Oh, and by the way....that crinkly paper they put on the exam table? Highly entertaining! I made lots of noise with it, scrunched it up, pulled it off, ripped it and rubbed it continuously. For Christmas, I hope Santa brings a boatload of that crinkly noisy paper....So, the doctor finished the exam and left the room. Mommy got me partially redressed, which was a real bummer, cause I like being all "nakey". Then that evil two-faced nurse walked back in. The same nurse who thought I was the "cutest thing". The same nurse who smiled nicely at me before....That B*tch walked in with FOUR...count them! One, Two, Three, Four NEEDLES!!!!!! I'm thinking she's going to be doing a whole mess of sewing with all them pointy things. But, Oh No...Two in one leg, One in the other leg, and one in the arm for good measure. Daddy tried to rub my belly to calm me down, but I was ready to go medieval on that white-dressed sadist wench! I screamed so loud that every dead Van Buren, from Abigail straight back to Ugg the Caveman Van Buren sat straight up in their coffins and held their ears in horror. Then this nurse had the nerve to actually put blue band-aids on me. Did she not notice I was wearing all PINK!!!???? She expected me to walk out of that office and be a "fashion victim" in the back of next month's Cosmo? I don't THINK SO!!!!!
Back to happier times....early today, Daddy got in the shower and came out smelling all nice and clean. Still a little bit too scratchy in the face, but he smelled nice. He put on a nice soft shirt...just the kind I like to snuggle against. He walked over to me and I smiled the great big smile that I save just for Daddy. He carefully picked me up and gave me a kiss. I snuggled my head into his shoulder and sniffed the magic smell of Daddy, and promptly threw up all over him. He must have worn that shirt all of 30 seconds before it went back into the dirty laundry basket. Daddy must love me, because he didn't complain at all to me. Honestly, if he had done that to me, and I was wearing one of my Gucci onesies, he wouldn't have survived to tell the story.
Finally, I got to taste mushed peas last night. Green-yummy-rific....that's all I have to say. I'd give it a two-thumbs up, but one of the thumbs is currently in my mouth, and the other is working this keyboard. Today though, I discovered the joy that is Sweet Potato mush. Oh My GAWDD!!! If someone could invent a time machine, I'd go back to taste that stuff again and again and again. It was sweet, and potatoey...and sweet! The orange color wasn't real appealing, but I was eating it so fast, that I didn't care. Mommy slowed up the spoon a couple times, and I gave her a yell so that she knew that this wasn't the time for a speed limit.
Speaking of yells, I'm constantly discovering new sounds I can make. So far, I've perfected the "AAAAHHHHHH" sound, the "PFFFFFTTTT" spitting-lip blowing sound, and yesterday afternoon I found the blood-curdling sound usually only heard coming from victims in a horror film. There are no letters that can honestly describe it, but trust me when I say that it's a scary one. And I like it. And I like to make that sound ALL the time now.
Mommy & Daddy brought me to the doctor today for a check-up. I weighed 16.4 lbs, I was 26 inches long, and I evidently have the most beautiful eyes the nurse has ever seen. Yay for me! The doctor, who tried to fool me by being nice at first, said I should eat more solid food so that I don't go through 7 bottles of formula a day and pee every ten minutes. I second that decision. Frankly, the less that Mommy & Daddy have to dig in my pants, the happier I'll be....plus I'm looking forward to other flavors besides "Soy Milk-Flavored"....Well, back to the visit. All was going well, and I made it a point to not even complain when the doctor pushed on my hips, and looked in my nose, and did everything under the sun to annoy me. I was a perfect little giggling Princess. Oh, and by the way....that crinkly paper they put on the exam table? Highly entertaining! I made lots of noise with it, scrunched it up, pulled it off, ripped it and rubbed it continuously. For Christmas, I hope Santa brings a boatload of that crinkly noisy paper....So, the doctor finished the exam and left the room. Mommy got me partially redressed, which was a real bummer, cause I like being all "nakey". Then that evil two-faced nurse walked back in. The same nurse who thought I was the "cutest thing". The same nurse who smiled nicely at me before....That B*tch walked in with FOUR...count them! One, Two, Three, Four NEEDLES!!!!!! I'm thinking she's going to be doing a whole mess of sewing with all them pointy things. But, Oh No...Two in one leg, One in the other leg, and one in the arm for good measure. Daddy tried to rub my belly to calm me down, but I was ready to go medieval on that white-dressed sadist wench! I screamed so loud that every dead Van Buren, from Abigail straight back to Ugg the Caveman Van Buren sat straight up in their coffins and held their ears in horror. Then this nurse had the nerve to actually put blue band-aids on me. Did she not notice I was wearing all PINK!!!???? She expected me to walk out of that office and be a "fashion victim" in the back of next month's Cosmo? I don't THINK SO!!!!!
Back to happier times....early today, Daddy got in the shower and came out smelling all nice and clean. Still a little bit too scratchy in the face, but he smelled nice. He put on a nice soft shirt...just the kind I like to snuggle against. He walked over to me and I smiled the great big smile that I save just for Daddy. He carefully picked me up and gave me a kiss. I snuggled my head into his shoulder and sniffed the magic smell of Daddy, and promptly threw up all over him. He must have worn that shirt all of 30 seconds before it went back into the dirty laundry basket. Daddy must love me, because he didn't complain at all to me. Honestly, if he had done that to me, and I was wearing one of my Gucci onesies, he wouldn't have survived to tell the story.
Finally, I got to taste mushed peas last night. Green-yummy-rific....that's all I have to say. I'd give it a two-thumbs up, but one of the thumbs is currently in my mouth, and the other is working this keyboard. Today though, I discovered the joy that is Sweet Potato mush. Oh My GAWDD!!! If someone could invent a time machine, I'd go back to taste that stuff again and again and again. It was sweet, and potatoey...and sweet! The orange color wasn't real appealing, but I was eating it so fast, that I didn't care. Mommy slowed up the spoon a couple times, and I gave her a yell so that she knew that this wasn't the time for a speed limit.
Speaking of yells, I'm constantly discovering new sounds I can make. So far, I've perfected the "AAAAHHHHHH" sound, the "PFFFFFTTTT" spitting-lip blowing sound, and yesterday afternoon I found the blood-curdling sound usually only heard coming from victims in a horror film. There are no letters that can honestly describe it, but trust me when I say that it's a scary one. And I like it. And I like to make that sound ALL the time now.
posted by Aubrey @ 10:16 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:22 AM,
SuperP. said…
I haven't laughed so hard all week! I could barely keep reading through the tears!
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