Merry Christmas, Happy New Year & GaGaBaBaMaMaDaDa

This past week has been especially busy, so you'll have to forgive me for not posting sooner...which shouldn't be hard, considering the fact that I have VERY CUTE LITTLE TOES that cause every grown-up to swoon in appreciation....

Christmas was not a particularly interesting day for me. Santa did bring me lots of presents, but as you can imagine, a girl as young as me has other things on her mind....like nasty mean teeth, wet diapers, and taggies. Yes...taggies. You know the little paper/clothy tags that are attached to blankies and washclothes and everything else? I heart taggies. Mommie bought me a taggie book that is nothing but a whole mess of taggies, and I just enjoy making them soggy wet all day long. Everyone gave me nice presents, and I'm sure that if my vocal communication skills were as advanced as my typing skills, I would SO be saying, "Thank You!" to all the wonderful family, friends and the big fat guy in the red outfit that I SO want to cover with soy-milk drool. Mommie and Daddy were a little upset Christmas morning, because their shiny metal box that takes pictures stopped working BEFORE I woke up. I guess it really just is a shiny metal box now. They went and bought a new one the day after Christmas, so there will be more pictures soon, but none of my first Christmas.

I have been sick with the flu for the past week, even though I got my first flu shot a while back. I guess there is no need to get the 2nd half of the shot now, as I've already suffered. My nose is always either plugged up or running, and I have a cough that is pretty impressive. But since I'm coughing every couple minutes, I'm having a hard time staying asleep for long - unless Mommie or Daddy are holding me. This has made me very grumpy, and I wanna find another 7-month old girl to have a switchblade knife fight with. I got a nice scratch on my cheek now, and I've been telling every other baby I see that it was due to a knife fight. They are SO afraid of me now...I'm hard core - don't mess with Lil' Aubrey...cause I've got bling and sharp shiny invisible metal blades!

Mommie freaked out the other night because I wouldn't stop crying, so she made Daddy take me to the Emergency Room to see what was wrong. Daddy and I knew that it was just because I had the flu and I was miserable, but we thought that we would appease my poor Mommie, who was also suffering from the flu. Two and a half hours of constant whining and crying in the waiting room, they finally took me in a room. Somehow, I don't think that making me feel better involves a nurse sticking something up my butt, and let me tell you that I.WAS.NOT.AMUSED. Another hour later, the doctor walked in and stuck a giant spear in my ears (well, it probably was not a giant spear, but I certainly screamed like it was) and said that I didn't have an ear infection. Well, I could have told him that, if he had just asked me....sadistic bastard. So, after all that, the doctor said, "Yeah...she's got the flu...continue giving her over-the-counter meds to keep her comfortable, and it'll be over in a few days". Me and Daddy looked at each other and decided that if this was all there was to being a Doctor, we could be one hellzabboppin team of medical professionals if we just opened an office and got one of those tables with crunchy paper.

On another note, I've discovered my inner Amazon scream. It's pretty and much more entertaining than the Exorcist noises I make. I like this high-pitched scream and if I'm happy, I'm going to tell the ENTIRE WORLD, whether we are in a restaurant, a store, or any type of small enclosed space where the sound echoes and dogs run from me in fear of my Amazon wrath. So now I've got two mad skills - ninja invisible knife fighting and Amazon screams, and as soon as I can figure out how to use both of them together, I am SO there.

I'm also scooting along now...not for more than a couple feet as I pretty much just use my massive arm strength to drag my body along, but it's transportation. Once I figure out how to keep the bottoms of my feet from resting on each other, I'm sure my speed will improve. (For those of you who can't understand this...lay on the ground, bend your knees and make the bottom of your right foot rest on the bottom of your right foot...you'll get the picture.)

So now I hear it's New Year's Eve, and I hear it's a tradition that you must make New Year's resolutions. Since I'll be in dreamland/coughland by the time midnight comes around, here are my New Year's resolutions:

1. I resolve to not suck on the little pinky toe of my left foot anymore...all the other toes are fair game though.
2. I resolve to throw up less and poop more.
3. I resolve to find new ways to express myself besides saying "GaGaBaBaMaMaDaDa...grrrrr".
4. I resolve to find a way to keep giant walrus tusk teeth from breaking through my delicate pink gums.
5. I resolve to gain weight, gain height, and learn to walk in 2005.
6. I resolve to never again smell the butt of a dog that has laid an SBD on me.
7. I resolve to chew up the dog toys in retribution for the three - count them - THREE booger suckers that this little hairy beast has chewed into little bits.
8. I resolve to start watching BooBah, Barney, and Teletubbies for periods long enough to allow Mommie and Daddy to once again resume a romantic relationship....whatever that is.
9. I resolve to spend more time watching my brother play video games. He was playing his new EyeToy for Playstation2 and waving his hands around, and that made me giggle hysterically for about fifteen minutes.
10. I resolve to not turn out like my Dad and require an OCD list of ten items every time I make a list.

Happy New Year to everyone in the world! Some new pictures will be posted later, so that you too can marvel at how much I've grown, and how much more beautiful I've gotten since I've gained that imaginary switchblade knife fight scratch on my cheek!

Tell Me It Isn't True

So....my bottom two teeth have pretty much come in. Two weeks of not napping, crying, screaming, and general grumpiness finally came to an end two days ago. I had one good day. ONE. Then guess what? My two top teeth are now coming in....and my nose is still stuffed up....and my mouth hurts...and I'm not napping again...and no amount of OraJel or Motrin or coconut flavored mush is making me happy. Oh yeah...Life is grand, and the joy that is Christmas is going to be tempered by the fact that if I could wield a knife, I would be stabbing everyone that talks to me. I've decided that I hate teeth. Yeah. You heard me. I didn't stutter did I? I.HATE.TEETH.

The pictures in my Santa dress that I took with my brother came back. They turned out pretty good, and as soon as Daddy gets a moment, he'll scan it in and upload it, so that you can all see me in my glorious holiday mode.

My Great Aunt (aka Tia) sent me a picture that she had painted. It is beautiful and I like it. Thank you Tia. I love that you are an author and a painter and an overall cool babe. I can't wait to see you when you come out in January, so that I can thank you with a nice soy-flavored spot on your shoulder. (That's the sign that I love you. If you have a shirt with my soy/spit mark on the shoulder, you are rocking loved yo.)

So, Daddy & Mommie videotaped me in the bathtub while I was giggling. If you use your mouse to right click HERE and choose "Save File As..." then save it to your desktop or My Documents, or where ever you like to save stuff, you will have a nice MPEG of me giggling hysterically as Mommie splashes my back with water. (Note: You may also be able to just press the HERE button with a normal left click and it may play...but if you have problems doing that, then just do what I said before). Oh yeah...I'm a webmaster already...in case I forgot to tell you.

That's all for now! Happy Festivus!

The End of Another Hard Day

Ummm...Would You Like to Put Down That Camera For a Second and Notice That The Dog is Eating My Thumb?

Oh Yeah....Pizzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaa!...and Mommie's finger will make a wonderful dessert.

Pizza...all over my face. I love Pizza...it's tomatoey, nice chewy crusty, and best of all, it makes my eyes glow red.

I'm wearing pajamas with frogs all over them. My Abuela loves frogs, so I wore this for her!

Hawaiian Delight, Family Visits & Power Naps

I have found a Stage 3 mush flavor that is the most spit-inducing flavor every invented (spit-inducing in a good way). It's a coconutty goodness that can only be fed to me at supersonic speed, aptly named Hawaiian Delight. If this is the kind of stuff they have in Hawaii, I am SO THERE!!! Speaking of yummy goodness, I continue to eat my feet. If I'm sitting with shoes or socks on, I am dreadfully unhappy. But the site of my naked toes makes me squeal with delight...and it's usually not more than a couple seconds until I have my entire foot, as well as part of my fist in my mouth. By the way....the tastiest toe?....the answer should be obvious...the big toe is the yummy one. I don't particularly like the baby toe, but it will do in a fix. By the way, I've also learned that just holding my breath and turning beet red when trying to poop, is just not enough. I have learned that grunting and screaming really loudly helps to get the poopies moving. These aren't little girlie grunts either...I grunt like a 50-year old man then follow it up with my "Exorcist" scream, and it's fun. I find myself grunting even for farts, of which I seem to have lots of.

Today I visited my Great Aunt Sue & my Great Aunt Linda in Riverside, which is a gazillion miles away. The trip down was uneventful, as I slept most of the way with no one to play "Punch-a-bug" with me. Once I was there, I was very happy to have a bunch of people who wanted to hold me and play with me. Then came the ride home. That wasn't so pleasant. About half way home, I decided I was hungry. For those of you untrained in the baby arts, hunger=screaming at the decibal level of a Motley Crue concert...continuously...until a few minutes after the bottle is in baby's mouth (to accomodate for pissed-off time). Mommy had to drive the rest of the way home with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other swung around her back holding my bottle for me in the back seat...on the opposite side of the car that Mommy was sitting in. I was pretty impressed at her acrobatic skills, and as soon as I can talk, I'll tell her so....or maybe not.

I'm still not sleeping during the day very much, unless of course if I'm nestled in Mommy's arms. The minute my butt hits crib mattress, I bounce awake with a giant smile. The nice thing for Mommy though, is that she is forced to nap with me - which she needs. At night, I'm pretty good, as I've always been, and I usually only wake up once or twice a night for a diaper change and/or a quick Isomil fix. Once I'm awake, I'm always in a happy mood, and lately I've been giggling much more. I seem to be developing more tickle spots, and last night Mommy gave me a bath and the feel of the water going down my back made me laugh hysterically for about fifteen minutes. It sounded like this...."brrrrrr" (no water)...."he he he he he" (water)..."brrrrrr"...."he he he HAW snort snort snort". Yeah, I snort. A lot. When I cry I'm a major snorter, and when I laugh I'm even worse....

With that, I bid you all a good night, until next time.....he he he SNOOOOOOOORRRTTTTT!

If that bird flying over me craps on my Dolce & Gabbana bib, I am SO going to go postal!

Choose Your Favorite Caption:
1) Yes! YES! More Hawaiian Delight Pudding! Bwah Hah Hah!
2) My impression of Doctor Evil

Stop Taking My Picture!!!!!!

Me & Mommy Taking a Nap Together

File under: Embarrassing Picture to Share With Aubrey's Boyfriends When She Grows Up.

C is For Cookie..That's Good Enough For Me

My menu has definitely improved. Come to find out, I should already be on Stage 3 food, which means that the mush tastes like stuff you can actually recognize as edible. I've got Chicken & Rice mush, I've got Turkey mush, I've got Dutch Apple mush....oh, and I hate every single one of them. I liked Stage 1, and if it was up to me, I'd stay there. I like mushed peas, I like mushed sweet potato, and I like applesauce. Mommy is feeding me Cream of Wheat now mixed in with applesauce or "Hawaiian Delight" (which is my only non-Stage 1 mush I like - though it tastes nothing like a Pina Colada, to the disappointment of all parties involved). I'm still pushing those two teeth out...they are almost all there, but it seems that the only thing being pushed out is spit. I now can push out about a gallon of spit a minute without even trying. I could seriously put out forest fires and refill empty pools in seconds. So, to conclude my "mush" portion of the post - much like when you go to a fancy restaurant and order plain old chicken, I say, "Screw the menu...give me plain mush with a side of applesauce".

Now...on to hard food, which is nearer and dearer to my heart and my tummy. Mommy brought me home some baby cookies. As you can tell by the pictures, I liked them A LOT! Despite the fact that it seems like most of the cookie never made it to my mouth - trust me - it did. I sucked all the sticky gooey wheaty goodness out of those cookies, and they were a welcome relief after the horror that was pink beef mush with pink beef gravy. But the best - and I mean the BEST discovery yet was at this crowded yucky place called "McDonald's". I got my first taste of a french fry. Oh.My.God! Simply the most wonderful invention that you grown-ups have ever made. I sat there and sucked the juice out of them until they crumbled in my mouth. Mommy would then take the mushy one out, and replace it with a brand new one over and over again. When my mouth didn't have a fry in it - I was crying for more. Daddy tried to convince Mommy to put a little ketchup on it, but being the purist that Mom is, she denied me that pleasure. Trust me...the next time it's Daddy and me alone?...it will be SO french fry with ketchup on it. Then just before we left, Mommy used the straw to let me taste a little watered down Coca-Cola. WOW! I almost didn't wet my pants! (You see the irony there? I usually wet my pants, and therefore my shocked reaction would spur the opposite of normal...get it?...aw...forget it!)

Just before the joy of McDonald's, Mommy and Daddy made a feeble attempt at getting my picture taken with my brother at the evil, yet curiously nearby, Wal-Mart. We got there at 12:30, and they couldn't fit us in until 1:30, so we shopped for an hour. Now, for those of you smart Mommies and Daddies, what typically happens when a baby is nice and wide awake at 12:30 and then you wait an hour?....That's right! We get crabby and sleepy! The first picture came out OK...I put on a normal face, because I wasn't about to smile for a woman who wore panty hose underneath her dress pants - especially once I saw that the top of her control-top hose was sticking out above her pant waist. I may have been born without "official" parents or a name, but at least I was born with some basic fashion sense. For that picture, my brother put on a fake smile that wasn't very convincing. I guess telling an 8-year old to look at a stamp-sized picture of Bob the Builder isn't enough motivation to get him to smile for real. The second picture was even worse. I was frowning, and my brother looked dazed. That was it. I'd had it. I wanted my bottle, and within seconds of getting it, I was sound asleep. It's too bad, because I looked really cute in a red Santa dress with a white furry collar and white furry trim on my sleeve ends...oh yeah, and some cool red cottony boots and a Santa hat. Daddy finally figured out that the only way to get my brother to smile was to start pretending that he was going to fart. Had I been awake, I'd have enjoyed that too, as I laugh when other people fart or burp. So my brother finally had a great smile, and I was sound asleep in that picture. The next picture was more of the same, so finally they gave up, and my brother got the rest of the pictures by himself with Daddy pretending to poop on Mommy, fart on the photographer, and making a lot of grunting noises. Mommy was very disappointed that we didn't get any good pictures, but Daddy promised to take some pictures another time with my dress on, in front of the Xmas tree (which is gi-normous and gi-beautiful), and that made her feel better. We were going to go see Santa afterwards, but Mommy & Daddy wisely decided to try that again another time. I can't wait to see Santa...and I guarantee that if he smells like cookies, milk and french fries, I'm going to like him a lot.

My 1st Christmas Tree. It's plastic, but it's pretty, but has anyone told the angel sitting on top that you can see straight through her skirt?

OK...so the feet were a little smelly...I'm still drunk with delight...Hey Handsome! You wanna show a baby a good time? How about a little Isomil nightcap?

Gravitational Pull of Toes Too Strong....Mmmm...Feet...Tasty Goodness. Now if I can only fit my fist AND my foot in my mouth at the same time, then the day will be complete!

Must control myself....must...not....eat...feet...

Yep...still works...grab my feet, and the red glow-in-the-dark eyes pop out...cool.

Too Late (uhhh)...Bowel Movement (umph)..here...(Grunt)...now (RRUHPMPH!). You better stand back, this ain't gonna be pretty!

Fine. I'll sit here and look cute for exactly two seconds, but that next cookie better be walking my way, cause I feel a bowel movement coming on.

Give more cookie...this one gone....Give more cookie...NOW

That is one tasty cookie. Yes, Sir...one mighty fine tasting cookie.

Getting Sick Sucks

I've never been sick before...never even had an ear infection...honest. Now, I will never be able to admit the first comment, and I'm sure that the second part will soon be history as well. I'm sick. I've got some kind of cold, and I'm sneezing and coughing and my nose is plugged up so that I can't breath. This makes life especially hard for Mommy and Daddy, as I'm spitting up milk as I drink my bottle, I can't have a binkie in my mouth for long, and whenever I lay flat, I start making gurgling noises out of my nose. Mommy tried giving me Infant Tylenol Cold, but it's cherry flavored. I've decided that I don't like cherry flavored medicine. I've already learned that when that little eye-dropper comes near me, you...must...clench...mouth...ever...so...tightly. It took two doses tonight to get me to swallow it, as the first dose was barfed right back up on Mommy - that'll teach her. Nothing appeases me now. Nothing makes me happy except for those few moments when my sinuses clear when I'm sitting up.

Furthermore, (man, I love 'dem big words) I've decided that unless I'm being held or I am being stared at and talked to, I'm going to scream my head off. No tears mind you...just screaming. They must learn that I...must...be...the...center...of...attention...at...all...times. The only times that I make exception to this rule is when I'm in my swing. Though initially (anuder big word, wow! two in the same post!) I didn't particularly like the swing, today it was pretty cool, and I fell asleep in it twice while "Rock-a-Bye Baby" played in the background. Who thought of this creepy song anyways? "Down will come cradle, baby and all!" Does the vision of falling to my death seem like something I'm going to want to fall asleep too? You guys are sick.sick.sick.

On another note, Mommy put up the Xmas tree today, and it seems curiously like plastic. I was really looking forward to that Pine tree kind of scent in the living room, but there is something comforting in the fact that the tree smells just like my crib liner. The tree is 9-feet tall, but of course, to someone like me, it seems a hundred feet taller. I like to stare at it with all the pretty lights. I can't wait until she puts on all the bulbs and the other colored lights. Christmas sure looks like it's going to be a pretty holiday...it's already a big improvement on Labor Day, which I didn't understand nor particularly enjoy. (3 - count 'em - 3 big words in one post - I am a friggin' genius!!!!)

New pictures will be posted soon, as "those who walk erectly" have been neglectful in their photography duties lately.

All I Want for Xmas, Oral Fixations & Mamamamamama

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but a baby's work is never done....

My two front teeth (hence the beginning of the fancy title today) have sprouted. One is more out than the other, and I now happily chomp on anything that nears my mouth, be it dog, human or blanket. I've finally stopped drooling the Mississippi River...can you spell Mississippi?...ha ha...you said "I pee pee!".

I've decided that my mouth is too big to accomodate normal size objects - like binkies, bottle nipples, toys...and so I now force my hand into my mouth to accompany any other object. This tends to make me gag alot, since I don't stop shoving until it hits my throat. Just what someone with reflux should do on a regular basis. I can honestly say that no part of my house, cars or parents have not at one time or another been blanketed in nice smelly soy-milk barf. If someone is burping me and has a nice burping cloth draped over their shoulder, I will make a special effort to turn my head while barfing, coating their entire chest area right to left - as well as their unprotected shoulder with a nice coat of vomit. That's okay. Don't thank me - it's my pleasure.

I also have mastered the fine art of rolling. I travel throughout the room constantly rolling over, until of course I hit an obstacle. The reason this is a problem is that I roll only to one side. Once I begin rolling left, I'm going to continue to roll left and nothing and no one is going to convince me to roll right. If I start off rolling right, the same applies. I know this is frustrating. Deal with it.

I'm becoming way more vocal now. With my favorite term being "ba ba ba ba BA BA ba ba". I still intersperse this sparkling conversation with the scary noise that I've spoken up before...it sounds like this - "ba ba ba ba AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG ba ba ba" - which means I'm happy, so don't mess with me. I have also discovered the word Mama. I only use it in emergencies, like when I wake up alone in my crib or if my Mommy walks away from my line of sight. However, I can't stop at Mama, so I yell out "mamamamamamamamamama!!!!!!". If I'm not in mortal danger, I don't say it all, so I guess I haven't really learned the significance of the word. However in my search through the alphabet, I do say baabaa, daadaa, waawaa and laalaa as well. I also make little trilling noises when I'm happy, and follow it up with shrill yells that reach the upper register of ear pain....

I'll post again soon with some more mush food stories, as I've been tasting all kinds of stuff...Here's a preview....beef with beef sauce mush? YECCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!! For God's sake, it's actually PINK!!! What kind of food is pink???? Note to self: When you see anything pink - wear it - don't eat it.

Xmas Lights, Solid Poop & A Bouncy Saucer

Mommy has decorated the entire outside of the house with beautiful lights. It's seem like the entire North Pole has been relocated to my front yard. She hasn't done the inside yet, but I can't wait to have my first view of a Christmas tree up close and personal. I think that with a couple of good yanks, I'll have it horizontal in no time at all. Speaking of the North Pole, it has been very very very cold here. Since this is my first winter, and since my memory at this age is very short-term, I can only imagine that we live in some sort of Tundra. I just woke up a few minutes ago, and overheard Daddy saying it was 41 degrees. I think I'll make a snow angel in the living room in a little while! Today, we all took a trip to Wal Mart. What a wonderful big place that was, with lots of people bustling about, and cheaply-made articles of every size and shape. Mommy and Daddy bought me a bouncy saucer that I just love. It allows me to stand up and turn around and play with a bunch of cool little toys. I spent close to fifteen minutes in it today, until my legs got tired, and I think I'm gonna' play in it again tomorrow. Once my legs build up some strength I hope to be crawling soon...right now I basically roll where ever I want to go. The only problem is that furniture keeps stopping me, and I keep getting stuck halfway under the table, requiring immediate rescue - lest my eardrum-piercing screams destroy time and space as we know it.

On another topic, I am continuing to eat mush on a more regular basis. Sweet Potato Mush (SPM) is still my favorite flavor, so I get that alot. Suprisingly, as much as I hate Banana Mush, Mommy put a real banana in a little device that allows me to suck on it through a little mesh bag. Now THAT'S a banana! I liked it very much, and am hoping that she sticks a nice juicy steak in that little bag very soon. As a result of my mush eating, my poops are getting solid - and extremely stinky. Mommy and Daddy seem to walk around in a daze for a few minutes after changing poopie diapers, and fanning the air around them non-stop...I think this is funny. I'm stinky...and I'm proud - here me roar!

I fell asleep tonight at 6pm, and even though everyone expected me to wake up 20 minutes later, I threw them all a curve and slept until 1am. Now I'm wide awake, and raring to go - so I decided to post. I put up some new pictures - check out my hat!!! Also, check out my handsome brother, who is being very loving with me. According to Daddy, it will be my brother's job to beat up any boy who even thinks of kissing me.

My evil laboratory where I plan my world domination...BWAH HAH HAH!!!!!!

I take back my previous hatred of head ornaments. This one ROCKS!!!!

I love my brother because he's teaching me how to burp loudly!

You talkin' to me????!!